Saturday, April 4, 2009

Now I'm hungry

HEY-

I just couldn’t stand the torture and had to share it with you:

I was flipping through the channels desperately here at 5AM or so as usual.

Due to the fact that I dropped the remote and didn’t feel like reaching down under my bed to pick it up, I was watching animal planet. (Why? because as I said-It was 5am and I was desperately avoiding the infomercial 'waterboarding') or having to watch the same movie on AMC for the fifth time in as many days.

Anyway,

There was this dripping with drama to the point of making me ill- story about a deer fawn which mistakenly jumped into a reservoir, and was having trouble getting out. (I am opining it had something to do with the retarded design of the reservoir, but that’s a related story) They milked this feel good story for everything it was worth, now I mean really. It was worse than usual.

Then finally some guy (thankfully heard me) & just simply jumps into the water, catches the retarded fawn and pulls him to safety.

They got TEN agonizing, dentist drilling minutes of air time out of this, and I can only imagine from what the (hero) guy was saying, that he had finally just had enough. He wanted to put all of these “P.e.t.a. Pocket Party Pickles” out of their ever loving animal worshiping escapism-misery.
This way, they could have their "animal planet orgasm", and go obsess & lament over some skinny cat or handicapped gerbil-somewhere.

MEANWHILE, I am sitting here realizing that I just absolutely wasted ten perfectly good minutes of my life living an action- adventure- drama with a happy ending vicariously through a deer fawn, (that I imagine would have tasted really good after all that marinating).

The “AB-cruncher” never looked so good.

That’s when it came to me: A band name:

“PHOCK BAMBI”

(Or possibly)

“BARBECUE BAMBI”

I have a craving for venison all of a sudden. Maybe I'll just joing em, get a goldfish, and tell everyone "he is the daughter I never had".

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